he was not an easy man
my father
he never smiled
he never spoke to us
that is my brother and I
my mother never really
paying any attention too
I went always dirty to school
always happy each time
that I managed to come back
with bloody knees
after all the playing
with other kids
and falling down on them 

he was not indeed
a very gentle man at all

and when he died of cancer
then
I was still quite young
and felt by then
for no reason 

the crushing weight of guilt. 

Ivan de Monbrison