Once More with Feeling
Thank you for calling the Gigantomachy Corporation customer service hotline. Please continue to hold for a customer service representative. We want you to think that your call is important to us! We are currently experiencing staffing difficulties in our customer service call center which is causing extended wait times. If you are interested in working in sweatshop conditions for minimum wage, please press 2 to be transferred to Human Resources. Thank you for calling the Gigantomachy Corporation customer service hotline. Please continue to hold for a customer service representative. We want you to think that your call is important to us! If you are calling about a warranty, please hang up. Our engineers have assured us that our products will not fail until after our warranty has expired. If you would like to order replacement parts, please hang up. None of our products can be repaired. If you would like to purchase a replacement product, please press 3 for our website address. Thank you for calling the Gigantomachy Corporation customer service hotline. Please continue to hold for a customer service representative. We want you to think that your call is important to us! If you are a member of the press calling regarding the recent news articles about our extended executive team’s month-long off-site in Fiji, please press 4 for our public relations team’s voicemail box. If you are calling to make an allegation of misconduct by one of our executives during the Fiji off-site, please press 5 to speak to our legal department. Please note that your call is being recorded for quality, training, and evidentiary purposes. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Thank you for calling the Gigantomachy Corporation customer service hotline. Please continue to hold for a customer service representative. We want you to think that your call is important to us! If one of our products failed catastrophically and caused severe financial or emotional distress, please press 6 to speak to Thelma, our AI counselor chatbot. Additional charges apply. Thank you for calling the Gigantomachy Corporation customer service hotline. Please continue to hold for a customer service representative. We want you to think that your call is important to us! We’re sorry. Our offices are now closed. Please press * to continue to hold or, if we’ve finally broken you, please hang up.
Lorenz Curve Sisyphus keeps on keeping on